I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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