Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
