Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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