Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
