We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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