I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
