Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize