last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
