Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
