Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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