i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
