i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
