At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
