Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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