I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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