i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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