Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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