This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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