Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
