she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
