Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I've blown a few things in my day
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
