well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
