$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
