Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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