Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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