seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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