you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
