that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Randomize
