The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
This girl is more easily done than said...
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
