didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Is it because I queefed?
you win again, gameday.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Randomize
