so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
