this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
