i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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