I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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