idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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