Are we in a gay sports bar?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize