Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
