my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
