did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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