I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
How's work?
Spinning.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
