He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
