where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
