she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
