so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
