Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize