DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
