Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize