hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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