i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
