so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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