What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
