I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
