eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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