I am puke
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
