my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
