how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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