Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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