Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
