What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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